Life in hindsight

Hand Painted movie posters at MoMA

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 00:57:10 GMT

Worth checking out.

http://www.moma.org/visit/calendar/exhibitions/297#playlist

25 things

Fri, 20 Mar 2009 03:05:07 GMT

My 25 things. Some fo you know most if not all 25.

1. I have never eaten from a thattukada, have always wanted to.
2. I'm an atheist, have been since early teens. I don't publicly talk about this, and I never broach the topic with a believer.
3. I like sneezing.
4. My parents were liberal compared to the parents of my friends at school/college. But once in a while it used to occur to them to be more like other parents they know and enforce random stupid rules that drove me crazy. I have rebelled constantly against everything until I left home at the age of 21. I have learned some patience since then and try to understand or turn a deaf ear since, I'm somewhat successful in it.
5. I have very vivid memories of certain things from my early childhood- being fed on the Hill Palace terrace when I was about 2, learning how to tie shoelaces at the age of 3, going to see my new born baby brother (age 4), the peacocks in Pushpagiri hospital, being shown big bright yellow kolambi flowers, eating chiclets. I know these memories may actually be memories of memories, from remembering them since. I still find them cool.
6. I'm very bad at grammar, spelling and structure and form.. well writing. I can never find the right proposition or punctuation. Though this does not make me take an effort in spell checking or proof reading, it does make me hesitate before writing.
7. I once spent about 21 hours with Roger Federer.
8. When I read Broca's Brain when I was 17, I felt validated.
9. As a child I assumed I'll be famous. I did not think about what I will be or how, it just came naturally to me that I'm going to be famous. I even used to remind myself not to do things that I don't want my parents to know when they read my biography.
10. I dream every night. Well everyone does, but I remember them in the morning. I kind of know the insecurities and unexpressed thoughts, feelings and judgments that trigger my dreams and though sometimes it's really weird and depressing to face the facts dreams throw at me, I think it keeps me honest. To myself.
11. I have the job that I thought of as my dream job a few years back. But I have become more of a cynic since then.
12. I made a few new year resolutions this year, for the first time in my life, I think.
13. I don't have the same enthusiasm for learning new languages any more. I blame information overload.
14. I love falafels.
15. Hyderabad is my favorite city. Cochin would be, when it's safe for women.
16. I secretly believe that most North Keralites are in general better people (compared to south) - more honest, more down to earth. I know I have not met that diverse an array of people to say this, and that in any case is too general and too unfair a statement to make, so I try not to say it aloud.
17. There is a song that touches me deeply. It's the Trawlerman's song. I like how Knopfler says 'scars on her belly' in there. I did not know this song when I went for the Knopfler concert in India around that time, so I do not know if I ever heard this song live.
18. I'll return to India next year if everything goes as planned.
19. Like many people who leave India for a developed country for a few years, my perception of India has changed very much in a very positive way. Not really because I miss those things here (though I sometimes do). It's just that I needed to be an outsider at least in one way to take an objective look. For instance, I really appreciate diversity and what it really means in the Indian context and how rare that is in this world and how fast disappearing. I'm not terrible proud of this new look I took, because it should not take this long. My plan to return to India is definitely not based on this changed perception though it definitely helps in transitioning mentally.
20. I used to dream about running and losing control of my speed and being unable to stop.. ever. It's scary.
21. I have lost many friends recently. Distance due to other preoccupations, priorities and lack of accessibility. It's very tempting to think that the only real friends are the ones that stay. But I know this is not true, people keep coming together and moving away and that there is no pattern in this flow.
22. There is someone who has deeply influenced the way I am. I met her when we were both 10. I learned the immense appeal of being yourself from her. The irony.
23. I can see in the dark better than most people I know.
24. I don't like having "principles" - I like doing what is best for the situation - clichéd as it sounds.
25. I like deep ravines, huge mountains, skyscrapers, large bodies of water - because how small they make everything else look.

cryptic crossword

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 22:37:12 GMT

Translate "ripe almond" into Malayalam, for example (10)

Philly weekend

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 13:31:43 GMT

Some Saturdays are sunny . This one is not. This is probably the coldest week this winter so far. And we're going to Philly for the long weekend..Look who else is in Philly this morning..

I look forward to eating at Beijing and Mad For Mex (warning: flash website behind link). Wonder if the insane hot burrito will be as tasty.

May art help

Sun, 30 Nov 2008 13:46:48 GMT

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guernica_(painting)

Chutneys

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 14:06:52 GMT

Sometimes I miss the steamed dosa at Chutneys.

Wed, 27 Feb 2008 19:15:40 GMT

I noticed this week that Kochi now has two (more?) things I like - Kaati rolls and Blossom book store. Neither is new in Kochi- I just hadn't noticed these last time I guess.

Half a dozen roses

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 01:53:30 GMT

	So I put the flowers in a vase.
	The flowers die in a week, but new leaves appear on the stem. I ignore the first few sprouts. Then when every stem has tiny green leaves I give in and look for old pots and soil.
	But then I am not sure how to plant the stems. The bottoms of the stems look unhealthy, but surely they have a better chance of sprouting roots. The top halves have the new leaves and look young, perhaps a bit too young.I diversify my risks and cut them all up into two, sometimes three pieces and stick into soil.
	Potpourri-to-be
	Here they are.

Aoo Ni Sayyo Ral Deyo Ni Wadhai

Sun, 23 Dec 2007 13:19:34 GMT

Mera Piya Ghar Aaya - Ustad Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan

Fever and The Tale of Ganji

Wed, 12 Sep 2007 02:03:45 GMT

Fever and sore throat. :|

Lady driver in Times Square

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 12:12:26 GMT

Lady driver in Times Square
Originally uploaded by nandana.

Horses are a common sight in the city. As are cops on horses.

When the night came again it was black night, for the stars could not pierce the dust to get down

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 15:44:25 GMT

"
In the roads where the teams moved, where the wheels milled the ground and the hooves of the horses beat the ground, the dirt crust broke and the dust formed. Every moving thing lifted the dust into the air: a walking man lifted a thin layer as high as his waist, and a wagon lifted the dust as high as the fence tops, and an automobile boiled a cloud behind it. The dust was long in settling back again.

....

The dust from the roads fluffed up and spread out and fell on the weeds beside the fields, and fell into the fields a little way. Now the wind grew strong and hard and it worked at the rain crust in the corn fields. Little by little the sky was darkened by the mixing dust, and the wind felt over the earth, loosened the dust, and carried it away. The wind grew stronger. The rain crust broke and the dust lifted up out of the fields and drove gray plumes into the air like sluggish smoke.

...

When the night came again it was black night, for the stars could not pierce the dust to get down, and the window lights could not even spread beyond their own yards. Now the dust was evenly mixed with the air...Houses were shut tight, and cloths wedged around doors and windows...In the morning the dust hung like fog, and the sun was as red as ripe new blood.

...

In the morning the dust hung like fog, and the sun was as red as ripe new blood. All day the dust sifted down from the sky, and the next day it sifted down. An even blanket covered the earth. It settled on the corn, piled up on the tops of the fence posts, piled up on the wires; it settled on roofs, blanketed the weeds and trees.

"

-John Steinbeck, in The Grapes of Wrath

That was about Oklahoma. This pic is from Salinas Valley, of East of Eden and others.

Camera Resolution and Atlantic City

Fri, 04 May 2007 11:25:49 GMT

Remember those old movies where someone gets hit on their head and lose their memory? And then towards the end of the movie regain it by getting hit again, just in time to identify the villain? That happened to my camera today. Well i ruined my camera a few weeks back . And got it working again by dropping it. Apparently it is a common solution for digital devices - to drop them onto a hardwood floor from a height of half a foot!

I have vowed to take proper care of my camera. I have never missed anything material in a long long time, like i missed it when it wasn't working.

Atlantic city.. Yeah gambling. And shopping. Also specializes in salt water taffy and chocolate fudge.

The first boardwalk in the country..

Pigeons walk a lot

Mine! Mine!

Inside Caesars. The casino where I won some $$ .

Konkan route

Sat, 10 Feb 2007 18:09:49 GMT

Konkan rail route is beautiful. More pictures here. All train-window quality.

"Degenerating Decency Miami beach to Washington"

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 01:24:37 GMT

Eyebrows Are Raised Over Passages in a Best Seller by Ian McEwan

McEwan has been accused of copying phrases (for none other than "Atonement"), from “No Time for Romance,” the memoir of Lucilla Andrews who was a British novelist who wrote hospital romances.

"In the article Mr. McEwan continued: “I have openly acknowledged my debt to her in the author’s note at the end of ‘Atonement,’ and ever since on public platforms, where questions on research are almost as frequent as ‘where do you get your ideas from?’ ” "

Though the article has quoted only one example of a copied paragraph there could be several more. Going by just that paragraph it does not really seem like plagiarism to me.

I found the article interesting because it mentioned Lucilla Andrews. I have read a few of her books, as a teenager. They are like all romantic novels in that the hero and heroine hate each other for the first half of the book. I remember loving those books.

I have a copy of Atonement in Cochin. Among several other books I left unread. Here, the luxury of free access to so many books and movies has dulled my senses and reduced my attention span to that of a three year old. I need to check my impulses and resolve not to stagnate my taste. I also feel that the more I speak the less I am able to write; not that writing has ever been a thing for me. But my written vocabulary used to be different and better than my spoken one. Now I just have a small potpourri of words from different languages from which I generate insipid verbal material. Wow, that sentence sounds so fake; now that a poor vocabulary is a part of my identity itself.

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 20:45:01 GMT

I work for two departments on campus. Two different buildings. I take classes from two other departments. The coffee shop where I sometimes spend an entire day reading and writing is on the western most part of the campus. The Chinese food truck from where these days I eat my lunch is on the east. The Grad student center, with its free coffee and comfy couches, is at roughly the center of the campus.

So I walk. Here to there, at least every 2 hours. (That is how I lost 15 lbs in a few months). I appreciate the exercise surely, when the weather is good.

I find it quite a problem in winter. The way to dress for winter is by layering. Which basically means you wear clothes in layers, suitable for the weather and maybe your style. This makes transition from the cold outdoors to warm indoors easy - just peel off a layer. But I find the whole exercise cumbersome. Most of the times, the layer I want to take off will be immersed under the layers I want to keep. Then why don't I just wear the layers in my preferred order of taking off? Well, each building is set in a different temperature, and for any given day there is no optimal order of layering that will minimize the pain of adjustments.

And so I grumble.

rainy days

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 03:07:27 GMT

Watched this today. A witty, imaginative movie which mocks too many stereotypes for me to identify all.

Thu, 02 Nov 2006 23:45:34 GMT

The first procrastinator probably had a document to submit.

I'm going to NYC AGAIN tomorrow. Must be the fourth time in the last 4 weeks. Why can't I have a new city to go to for interviews or visiting friends for a change.

I try to be stoic about this, but here is the truth. Short days freak me out. I hate it when it is dark by five. May be winter is fun when you have money to distract you. Ah next winter.

But I have booked my tickets for some place nice. I'll escape 6 weeks of winter.

There are two types of cooking. Single cooking and Married cooking. The former can't hold a candle to the latter. In Single cooking, you have the interesting subdivision of Bachelor cooking. This involves putting chicken masala in everything.

This; is a bit old. It was discussed in a class of mine. How the situation is not so different in the US schools. Yeah? :) .

I almost got a new hobby. Well I got the tools. I have the time. Talent? no. But that is not reason enough to stop.

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 21:17:26 GMT

I'm graduating in December.

I have booked my tickets to India.

I'm fairly certain where I will be from Feb 07 onwards. In terms of geography of course.

Sounds like I'm all set for working full time again!

I think I will go back to school. May be after 5 years. May be 10. May be part time. May be academics. May be in a field to which I am completely new. It was not in my mind when I started with my masters last September. But now I feel the ripples of a tiny urge often. A second chance at my second chance.

It is about the freedom of college life. The life and passion in it. It's about the things that you have to do/know/have for yourself before you feel you deserve happiness. The kicks. The simple pleasure of getting a mathematical proof right. The possibilities inside the microcosm of a campus.

I hope I get to do this again.

I want..

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 16:26:49 GMT

I want hot soup and chocolate. I want to find the pair of sneakers I lost. I want this horrible throat ache to go away. I want coffee. I want to take an allergy test. I want to work non stop all day and curl and sleep in the night.

Thasssit.

Sun, 17 Sep 2006 16:48:14 GMT

Friday Fever

1. When I'm angry, I ______am very verbal about it. If for some reason I cannot, I turn cold.______

2. The first time I ______got my ears pierced______I also ______got my nose peirced__

3. I was born in __April.__ [Mom says I should be thankful that they did not name me April mol.]

4. My favorite __color for a sari______ is ______onion-peel-color.__

I always thought they were balls of gas burning billions of miles away..

Mon, 28 Aug 2006 03:59:47 GMT

My stint in New York is over. I go back to Philly this week. To late nights and sleep ins and movies and reserve desk jobs or whatever is in store on campus this time. I'm excited about my last semester coz I do not think I will be going back to school again. The past year has been tough, challenging and rewarding.

****

I watched my first broadway show last week. The Lion King.

It was really captivating. I loved what the magic they did with just clever light arrangements and fabric. It is pretty faithful to the movie script, though I wish it weren't so. I could not decide whose performance I liked the best...And the engineering that went into it.. And oh, the creativity of the design.. The standing ovation at the end couldn't say enough.. But they have been performing for about 10 years now, they know without saying.

***

I'm reading Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides. I'd read in a recent NY Times article about how Eugenides met his wife at MacDowell, a writers camp in N.H. It said,

" Eugenides met his wife, the sculptor Karen Yamauchi, at MacDowell. “It was difficult to get to know her,” he wrote. “For one thing, she spent most of her time working in her cabin. There was also another woman there, an experimental filmmaker, who wanted to keep us apart. This filmmaker hadn’t read my first novel” — “The Virgin Suicides” — “but objected to its title. She and a few other women banded together, telling Karen that I wasn’t to be trusted. This increased my appeal immeasurably, and we were married a year and a half later.” "

I want to quote a paragraph from the book. The chapter describes how a bunch of boys poring over a dead teenage girl's diary finding themselves understanding girls in general better.

"We could never understand why the girls cared so much about being mature, or why they felt compelled to compliment each other, but sometimes, after one of us had read a long portion of the diary out loud, we had to fight back the urge to hug one another or to tell each other how pretty we were. We felt the imprisonmentof being a girl, the way it made your mind active and dreamy, and how you ended up knowing which colors went together. We knew that the girls were our twins, that we all existed in space like animals with identical skins, and that they knew everything about us though we couldn't fathom them at all. We knew finally that the girls were really women in disguise, that they understood love and death, and that our job was merely to create the noise that seemed to fascinate them"

Taken out of the context of the dark and dry humour of the book this doesn't exactly mean what it means in the book.

I just realized (while looking for the book cover) that the movie adaptation by Sofia Coppola was playing at MoMA when Slivy, Sasi and I were there last month. Just failed to make the connection till now. What a miss..

Places where we live

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 17:48:05 GMT

When I was 14 I wanted to live in an apartment* with large windows. I had an image of myself reading lying down on a diwan put right next to a big window. I was tired of living in a house. The picture I had in my mind of the diwan against the window must have been subconsciously and loosely based on some indi-pop video I am sure, for it was black and white and all the images I had of my independent-apartment-life were disconnected. Around that time my parents talked about buying a flat in the city and sometimes associated with my doing well in my SSLC (10th std public exam). I did not do that well in my exams. Anyway my parents don't take their parental roles very seriously and never really remember to keep promises, so it wasn't as if there was a chance. (I remember buying a promised walk-man by myself. Again there was a scooty if I get into MEC, which I did, but conveniently for them did not really want. In fact there are innumerable instances of parental amnesia and negligence but it would be a major digression to go into all that).

Then later I was 21 and went away to a bigger city and lived in an "apartment". And several apartments after that. Being older, less bored, and never ever needing my imagination for anything, I never ever had any more images of what I want. In reality, that was the easy contentment of a person who got lucky with friends and circumstances, but in my more imaginative moods I like to see it as a loss of innocence.

Today I decided to stay home and get some rest. I had a whole spectrum of ailments this last week from muscle sore from too much yoga to a boil on my leg which doesnt let me bend or walk fast. And the rexin curtain doesn't stay up because I had tugged at it too many times the wrong way and it had come off from the rod at both ends and hangs from the middle. It is the type that rolls down the rod when you tug it once and roll up if you tug it twice. My way of tugging was a bit violent for it has 3 big tears- 2 on either end of the rod and one at the bottom end of the curtain where the tugging string is supposed to be. So today morning, after calling in sick and settling down under covers I realized the sun was creeping on and will reach my pillow fast. More limping across and fixing the loose ends of the "purdah" (When we first came to see the apartment, the window was bare and Saurabh said- "I don't use the purdah, but it is there in the corner, you can put it up if you want") and finally sitting up with the laptop and leaning against the wall I suddenly remembered that old image I had in mind. And how life when it gets on it gears moves faster than the images you have of it and how it sometimes slows down, slow enough for you to think fondly of innocent images.

This was not really about apartments or windows, though I am sure with my rambling skills I need to state that explicitly. It was about feeling comfortable in small spaces and the bliss of staying under covers and how memories are delicious when they come back when you least expect them to. And how you can ruin the feeling by writing about it (Check funny incident #1 below). sigh. :(

Having said that I still want to say something about my love for houses. For changing apartments. I have written a lot about new apartments on LJ. I like everything about a new cosy apartment. I like the idea of a new start. I like the fresh paint and new furniture. I like the tiny switches under kitchen sinks to grind the waste that gets stuck in the sink drains. And I love small details like cute nightlights. When I am hunting apartments (which I have had to do atleast every year after I left home), I do that with a lot of passion. I go into every room (check funny incident#1 below), try all the switches, try the shower and taps, check the closet space. And this is not just for inspection, it is more because I have to. Not all apartments are inviting though. Two months back when I was apartment hunting in Philly (for the fall semester when I go back to school) I was shown one which had glass walls on one side (no grills) with paper pasted on it to make the light stay out. (I took a good look inside the smiliar glass apartment opposite this which did not have paper on it, and it looked like a vandalism practice spot or something. )The bathroom was a small square and the kitchen was almost invisible. Everything else was pretty spacious.

The one bedroom I shared with vibs last semester was also nothing to write home about. Yet it was so much home. I remember the blizzard which made us stay home. We stopped working on our homework at around midnight and went downstairs to sit in the porch with mugs of hot coffee. About 2 feet of snow on anything that you can look at in any direction. An added depth in dimension. Now home is a new place. And next week I'm shifting again. And the month after to the new apartment in Philly..

I need to go fix the purdah..

Funny incident #1
About experiencing an overwhleming feeling and voicing it and ruining it in the process..

We were climbing up the steps at Pathalganga in Sreesailam. 555 steps or so. We had climbed them up and down once already earlier that day. I had the least stamina of all of us and was behind everyone else. Girish was trying to give me company by matching my dragging steps. I stopped to buy a bottle of juice and felt a surge of energy on drinking it and went back to climbing, this time much faster. I was really pleased with it and wanted to share the experience. Girish normally responds to whatever you say with "Etha?" meaning what or which depending on context. And I am used to repeating whatever I have to say several times over with him.

I: Aliya, that drink was too good. I can really feel the energy..
G: etha?
I (Still climbing on fast): That drink I just had..
G: what about it?
I: It was really good.
G: eh?
I: The drink that I just had felt really good.
G: What?
I (stopping to make myself heard loud): I can really feel the energy and climb faster, see..
G: eh?
I (sitting down): NOTHING!!! I had a drink and it WAS very energizing . But not anymore!

Funny Incident #2.

Vini and I are house hunting in Madhapur, Hyderabad. Sreeni the broker had already shown us an independent house which looked shady and where the tenant whispered to us in English that the bathroom floods. We had also been to the local Hitler's house (The landlord, he called himself Father of Madhapur, being an early mover in the cyberabad real estate business and lectured us for an hour in his verandah about the importance of being disciplined tenants which was enough for us to decide against the house without even seeing it). Sreeni sees our desperation and makes a few quick calls to schedule immediate apartment visits. Some background info on where we lived then would help here.. We were living in one half of the ground floor of a two storeyed apartment at that time and called our landlords Aunty and Uncle. Aunty sent her daughter to us on weekends with her Maths notebook and Uncle stopped us to talk about work and his scooter and loans whenever he could. When they were not around we called them "Parvah ledu" (trans: No problem - her favourite phrase) and umm I am not sure now, but I am almost positive it was "panchara uncle" respectively. They were nice people but not good landlords for they never really fixed problems around the house. The other half of the ground floor, built as a separate unit was occupied by "bachelors". Some of whom were Malayalees, which was quite a bit of fun initially when they would discuss us when we passed their door before they caught on that we were Malayalees too. We used to generally pretend the bachelors did not exist.

Sreeni looked like he fixed up an appointment and quickly look a side lane and walked purposefully into a building. While we were waiting outside he managed to get a key and led us up the stairs and into an apartment, the doors of which were open. He hadn't told us the deal, so we assumed it is another apartment to look at. Vini and I walk in and then notice there are two guys inside who are staring at us in surprise. Both of them look like they just stopped mid-sentence. Since one of them is a bachelor from next door, I assume he is surprised to see us house hunting the same time he is house hunting and go into all the rooms and inspect cupboards and everything. When we are back in the living room, we notice Sreeni is still on the doorstep, and the two guys have not moved from where they are or stopped staring. Then it became clear. Sreeni meant to knock on the door and ask if we can take a look at the apartment. The apartment that was actually free was downstairs, and he did not have the key to it. He figured since it is built the same way as this one, we could take a look at this one for now and meant to ask permission before going but forgot to tell us about it. "Bachelor" was here not on a house hunt, but was visiting his friend's place. No one explained it to us, but the tableau explained itself in a second. Vini and I quickly walked out with a lot of assumed dignity and left Sreeni to explain and apologise.

*apartment- I mean the single unit here. Though in India we used it to mean a block of such units.

One lychee=Three torches of fire

Sun, 23 Jul 2006 23:01:53 GMT

Lychees on ice cream used to be my favourite dessert eating out in Hyderabad. It was a safe option when in doubt as there is not much you can go wrong with canned lychees and vanilla ice cream.

Friday my team mate Wendy gave me a packet of lychees. It is in season now. I'd just come in from the rain. I did not waste much time before I peeled a fruit and plopped it into my mouth. Nanoseconds after the fruit went down my throat started hurting and remained sore all evenning. Saturday early morning I had swollen tonsils and by afternoon high fever. It could have been the rain but I just cannot forget the cold touch of the fruit as it slid down my throat.

After a delirious night and an only slightly better morning I have declared myself well again. Was feeling ravenous and just fixed it. More lychee, a peach, chocolate, fried rice, some chinese fried snacks.

******

I can't wait to go back to school. sigh.

The road to Jackson Heights

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 02:26:07 GMT

I haven't gone to the Indian grocery store even once after moving to NYC. Well, I don't even know where the closest one is. I need my fix of spices..

I want tamarind, dal, curry leaves, coconut, frozen idli (my occasional indulgence), Kerala paratha (porotta), green grams(cheru payar) to mention the most missed items. I haven't used kariveppila (curry leaves) in a long long time. (Ever since the batch of home grown leaves my mom's friend packed for me got over. Tip: Wash the leaves well, let them try and keep in a freezer bag, but not in the freezer and they will last for months). But these days I find myself missing the leaves like crazy.

One more week; I swear I'm going next weekend